I've been neglecting this blog because I've had some recurrent feelings of annoyance lately, and I like to keep my unsolicited invective to a minimum. After all, when I see whiny complaints or bitter criticisms on other blogs sometimes all I want to do is roll my eyes and say, "Who died and made you queen?"
Dr. Narcissus: "Can you bring the patient to the recovery room without extubating him, please, so we can get the next case in faster?"Our team: "No, that's not the safest way to conclude the anesthetic for this patient."Dr. Narcissus: "What difference does it make, extubating there versus extubating in the O.R. with me having to wait around for turn-over?"Us: "Extubation is safest in the controlled environment of the O.R. We'd still have to watch over and extubate the patient in recovery. It wouldn't save any time and we'd have less available anesthesia equipment outside the O.R."Dr. Narcissus: "Bring it with you."Us: "Huh? You don't seem to be understanding the relevant issues..."
Me: "I did something a little different for the anesthetic based on some studies in the British Journal of Anesthesia."Dr. Contemptuus (looking at patient in recovery room and not understanding that he's actually doing better than expected): "Well, I don't think the patient read that study."Me: "His pain score is already less than expected considering you cut him open from stem to stern."Dr. Contemptuus: (shrugs)Patient: (chatting comfortably with family, laughing, and telling jokes)
Me (through the nurse-in-charge): "I'm sorry, tell Dr. P I have to delay his case because I have a hemorrhaging pregnant woman who needs an immediate C-section to attend to."Dr. Puerilus: "I'm going to call the administration." He proceeds to do so AND to call my chief at home to LIE and say I asked him to come immediately to help with the C-section (only because the surgeon actually wanted to avoid the delay of his own, NON-emergency case).Chief (to me, on the phone): "Hey, Dr. P said you really need me there. I'm on my way."Me: "I don't. I never said that. In fact, I never actually spoke to him because I had to run up to O.B."Chief: "Oh. You mean he made that up?"Me: "Yup."Pencil-pushing administrative nurse calling me to ask about delay of Dr. P's case: "I guess I shouldn't be distracting you with this while -"Me: "While our patient's about to bleed to death and lose her child? NO, I guess you shouldn't."Pencil pusher: "Well, he's just wondering when-"Me: "We'll be able to start Dr. P's case once THIS LIFE-THREATENING EMERGENCY is stable."