Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentine's Day - Ugh

I've never liked Valentine's Day. When I was younger I was insecure beneath what I felt was societal pressure to be special to someone other than my immediate family. Now that I'm older and happily married, VD, as I like to call it, seems doubly trite. There's only one VD I can say I loved and will always remember: the night my husband showed up to the hospital in a tux bearing a rose, because I was on-call. He was gorgeous. I had palpitations.

In the spirit of laughing at myself for despising Valentine's Day for so many years, I dug up an old poem I wrote during a post-break-up period in college. It's not a great poem, but I had a great time writing it.

Stuffed Pepper Spell: a love poem / anti-sonnet

She chops an onion tearlessly and chants,
"His nose. His eyes. Appendages. His chin."
The pieces drop and crackle in the pan;
The garlic seethes; tomato and breadcrumbs dance.
She turns the salsa music up and joins
them, checks the oven, seasoning the rice
with cumin, thyme, plus one last special spice -
the quasi-homicidal Leaf - and grinds
some sunflower seeds: a final ritual.
The doorbell rings. He's actually on time?
Come in come in sit down ex-boyfriend mine
You must be hungry (I know you so well)
Aromas waft, the kitchen timer bings,
And she, with clink of cocktail glass, just winks.

No worries - I never actually tried to poison anyone with laxatives or anything, and not only did I end up getting back together with this guy...we've been married for almost twelve years!

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!


Ooooooooooh, I just couldn't resist this tasty little addendum with many thanks to Suture for a Living and Street Anatomy for the heads-up:

BLEEDING HEART CUPCAKES, from the book Hey There, Cupcake! by Clare Crespo.

Recipe at YumSugar. Enjoy!


Patty said...

Oh T! I loved the poem ... but the real ending makes it even more wonderful!

I'm a sucker. I like valentine's day. I know, I know, a manufactured day for card companies and all that jazz, but for some men it's just a helpful shove to show affection. ;-)

Anonymous said...

My sweetie (aka wife of nine years) and I follow a strict policy of only spending Valentine's Day in diners, drive-ins, or dives. It is our own little act of protest against the over-hyped expectations that have been built up around this "holiday." Plus, there's no one actually IN I-HOP on Valentine's Day!

T. said...

Patty - good thing my hubby has a sense of humor! He always says the secret of our marriage is that I make him laugh (and that I, for my part, still laugh at his jokes). :)

J.A.Lawyer - I think that's just great. You've made me crave the yummy, any-time-of-day, sweet potato pancakes at our local "Deluxe Town Diner!" Or maybe a good pulled pork sandwich at some BBQ dive...mmmmm...

Anonymous said...

Just saw the bleeding heart cupcakes...I am both fascinated and repulsed!

T. said...

Hee-hee...I am such a total geek...I think they're coo-ool! :)

Except I think I would define the lower anterior descending artery and the coronary sinus somewhat differently with the frosting...

And I'd try to figure out how to make the jelly less viscous - I actually had a chocolate-raspberry cupcake once that seemed to "bleed" some liquidy raspberry stuff but it was yummy and not at all repulsive!

And maybe I'd dye the cake part red, like a red velvet cupcake, to represent the myocardium. Geek, geek, geek!