I've been dreading this day as much as I've been excited about it. My first day at The New Hospital.
If there's one thing I find really difficult, it's being a stranger in a strange land. Especially when that land happens to be a place I have to prove myself worthy to inhabit.
I suppose it's about par for the course that my first patient was there for a straight-forward procedure but was not a very straight-forward patient. And of course his IV came out.
And I guess I shouldn't feel bad that the second patient had an unexpectedly difficult airway, when apparently two other clinicians in two other rooms had the same experience this afternoon.
And finally, I can't imagine it's all that unusual to find the morass of new paperwork, new rules and rituals, and unfamiliar building lay-out utterly confusing and stressful on the first day.
This is normal, right? This feeling that you wish all the nice, new people who welcomed you so politely and helpfully and offered their support on your first day at work could be where your old colleagues were when you left them: aware, believing, trusting in your ability to take good care of patients and do your work reliably and with integrity?
It takes time to build that trust up. Even at St. Boonie's there was a breaking-in period. There was judgment. Over time it became mutual respect, even friendship in some cases. But it did take time. And I'm so impatient, and sometimes so...doubtful. It's very true what that old Cheers theme song says:
"Sometimes you wanna go
where everybody knows your name
and they're always glad you came."
I'm still excited about this new job and the possibilities it holds for me. But I can't help missing my old village a little.
13 comments:
I have no doubt these folk will come to love and trust you.
Bon courage! Bring them some Pilipino comfort food. Alam mo na: They can't help but love you. Brian
Suerte!
First days are scary. I does take about 6 months to get settled in, doesn't it? Good luck with your new job!
Going through that same thing monthly. It hopefully gets better. I'm sure you'll fit in quickly.
Good luck! I think the feelings are common whenever you change job - you know that you can do it, but it takes a while to persuade your co-workers that you aren't some numpty who has crawled out from under a stone!
Hope it progressively gets better - in a few months you'll be wondering what you did before New Hospital! :-)
Thank for the good wishes, everybody! I really appreciate them. You have no idea.
T., I can't really say what hasn't been said already, but I want to say it anyway — best wishes for the new place.
Word verification (pretty interesting): blestis.
Michael - thank you! And as they say in some circles: kewl!
T., you're an experienced pro. The common denominator is always the work itself, which you know well and which you do have control over. The laws of physics and Murphy are the same everywhere. Judgment of others is completely out of your control. Try to let it go and knock 'em dead! Wait, bad choice of words...
;-)
Sorry, last post should be from Transor Z, not my blog.
Oh. My. Goodness.
This is the very first blog that I can COMPLETELY and utterly relate to.
1) I'm a practicing Catholic
2)I'm very interested in science, medicine, etc.
3) I want to be an anesthesiologist
It's pretty hard to find some decent, first hand accounts of anesthesiology as a career. This is frustrating, since I'm considering going to college to be an anesthesiologist. Just reading through the archives of your blog has helped SO much to relate info about the career, etc. I particularly enjoyed the posts concerning religious and moral dilemmas you encounter in your work... very insightful!!!
Thank you so much!
Angela
Angela - I am so glad you have found something that has been helpful to you here! Thank you for dropping by.
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